Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
