Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
worst night to have a conscience
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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