He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
