a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just had sex on a roof
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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