The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
