Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
