At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
as a side note pls kill me
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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