woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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