He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
