I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
