ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
