we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
