let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
