This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
