i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
