So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
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