Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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