The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
