i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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