fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
