Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
