I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
