he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You're a waste of cheezeits
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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