just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
