Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
