areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Randomize
