absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
