I swear she didn't look like that last week.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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