In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
