but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
