Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
