That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
