I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
