Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
