I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
