I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
How does one acquire holy water?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
