Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
