Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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