In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
