I love black thongs
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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