Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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