So drunk its hurt
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
