you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
