Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
