Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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