She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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