she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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