the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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