somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
