I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
