finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
