His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
When did angry sex become our thing?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
MIDGETS
????
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
