so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
